We talk about it constantly. Right? In the world we currently live in, it’s not uncommon for people to ask you how your mindset is, how you’re feeling, “where your head’s at”. Diving into how mindset, performance, relationships, and growth tie together can get pretty uncomfortable, yet enlightening. Let’s talk about it.
Your mindset is determined by your surroundings. WRONG.
Determined? No. Influenced? Yes. You get to make a conscious decision, every second of every day, how you choose to approach, execute, deliver, and maintain your day and how you show up. If you allow yourself to accept the idea that you are “just that way” and “that’s just the way it is” then that’s what you’ll be and what it will be, the funny thing about your brain is that it believes you, and it will manifest whatever you tell it that you believe to be true. Be careful what you tell it, it takes it’s job very seriously.
Self care is only necessary when you’re tired or overwhelmed. WRONG.
Do you wait until you are completely out of gas and broken down on the side of the road to add gas to your car’s tank? Do you wait until every dish or piece of clothing in your home is dirty before you start washing? Of course not, you know the process and the cycle, and you know to be proactive, you need to wash the dishes and the clothes to ensure you never run out. Here’s a big one, do you let your phone completely die before you plug it up? Ouch, right? I highly doubt that’s the case. Why should your self-care or recharge for yourself be any different? You are proactive in the pursuit of making sure the things in your life have what they need to continue to run and move forward, yet you ignore the signs that you also need that.
Some days I don’t choose my mindset or how I show up/feel, I am just existing and going through the motions. WRONG.
Whether you consciously say, I’m going to have a great day or today sucks, you are still making a choice. Making an effort puts you in control of your day and your mood. Ignoring it or choosing not to acknowledge it, does not mean it does not exist or is not relative, it just means you are choosing to take a reactive approach that will likely create frustration and chaos and leave you in a constant state of overwhelm and burn out.
Your mood and your mindset are the same thing. WRONG.
Moods are the emotions we feel. A mindset is the thoughts and ideas that go along with that mood. In order to understand how these two interact, you need to pause and think about what you’re feeling and why. Put those feelings into words, like, “Goodness, I’m really upset right now” or “I’m feeling really lonely.” After you have identified the WHY, you must then accept what you feel. Whatever you feel is OKAY- let yourself feel the feelings- it is normal to be annoyed when it rains every day of your vacation. It’s part of being HUMAN. What you do next is the pivotal piece. Choose how you move past it. What comes next for you to shift? How are you going to change the narrative around the rain? Go dance outside? Read your favorite book? This is where you get to decide. Choosewisely.
Growth always comes with pain. Wrong.
Growth will come with discomfort, you are venturing outside of your comfort zone. Growth can happen in your comfort zone and outside of your comfort zone. Reflection and self awareness often comes within the bounds of your comfortzone. The key factor is being willing and receptive to the growth, you have to embrace it and absorb it, uncomfortable or not, discomfort is temporary, growth is permanent.
Everyone who loves you will always support your growth. WRONG.
Ouch, right? That one stings. Let’s be clear here- people who love you, likely support you and your success, and that does not always mean that they support your growth. The funny thing about growth is that often we find that people, relationships, habits, and hobbies that we may have had our whole lives no longer serve us or bring us joy, and when you make big transformational changes like that, it makes people around you uncomfortable. The case here is usually that people see this as a “sudden” change, they don’t see the internal process you have gone through to come to your decisions and the revelations you have made to get here, and they become defensive because they feel like it’s personal. The only thing you can do here is what is best for you and who you are becoming. This piece of growth and success is likely the hardest, be steadfast, it will be worth it. Learn to be okay with the fact that not everyone will be a “life long” part of your story.
What steps can you take TODAY to shift your mindset?
The way you talk to and about yourself, let’s start there.
Replace/eliminate words that have negative connotations.
- Want vs. Choose (Ex: I want to be better vs. I choose to be better)
- Try vs. Will (Ex: I try to improve vs. I will improve)
- Eliminate just (implies lack of importance) (Ex: I just need to. I just want to. I just have
- Give some day, soon, one day, later a timeline for self accountability purposes. Nail down a timeline- don’t leave it out in space.
Our mindset influences every conversation, interaction, relationship, and step we take every day. It is such an important piece of achieving your goals to be who, where, and what you want to be. It is the key to the car that will get you to that place, make sure you are utilizing the power in that key- it is far more strenuous and exhausting to push a car than to just put the key in and drive.