- Demonstrates flexibility in the face of change
- Projects a positive demeanor regardless of changes in working conditions
- Shows the ability to manage multiple conflicting priorities without loss of composure
- Time Management
- Determines the appropriate allocation of time
- Space Management
- Effectively manages the workspace (i.e. keeps a clean and organized office, appropriately handles all paperwork, maintains control over the physical environment, etc.)
- Task Management
- Balances conflicting priorities in order to manage workflow, ensure the completion of essential projects, and meet critical deadlines
- Time Management
- Proactive Anticipation of Needs
- Demonstrates the ability to foresee problems and prevent them by taking action
- Utilizes analytical skills and a broad understanding of the business to effectively interpret needs
- Communication Skills
- Listening skills
- Understands that the most important aspect of communication is the act of listening and actively works to improve those skills
- Speaks with confidence using clear, concise sentences and is easily understood
- Produces well thought‐out, professional correspondence free of grammatical and spelling errors
- Client Service
- Interacts professionally with clients and associates at all times
- Promptly responds to requests with accuracy and a courteous demeanor
- Listening skills
- Broad Understanding of Business Concepts
- Demonstrates an awareness of fundamental business principles as well as an understanding of the overall industry in which the business operates
- Team Player
- Works as a competent member of the team, willingly providing back‐up support for co‐workers when appropriate and actively supporting group goals
- Computer/Technical Skills
- Displays proficiency using standard office equipment such as a computer, fax, photocopier, scanner, etc.
- Demonstrates advanced proficiency by quickly adapting to new technology and easily acquiring new technical skills
- Exhibits sound judgment and the ability to make reasonable decisions in the absence of direction
- Swiftly refers problems/issues to the appropriate person(s) when necessary
- Works effectively without constant and direct supervision or guidance
One of the most rewarding hires that we see on a regular basis is the right hand of an executive. Through time, official “titles” have evolved to more than we can list, and they boil down to the same thing- your partner, your builder, your go-getter, your protector. How do you know if you found that person though? What should you look for? Should they be just like you?
Let’s talk about that by sharing 4 (arguably) fun facts we have uncovered through experience.
#1- (Probably the least favored one) What you think you need is probably not what you actually need.
(Gasp!) I know, sit down, and take a deep breath, we’ll get through this. The default when exploring a hire of this nature is to want someone just like you. You want them to think like you, work like you, dream like you, hire like you, produce like you, and…do you actually, though? This person should be your BALANCE, not your MIRROR. You need someone who thinks about what you may NOT and poses questions that you may not have even thought of. You want someone to hold you accountable, keep the vision, keep the momentum, and fuel the growth. Make sure you are super clear on who you are and how you show up and what you NEED to move your business forward before you accidentally hire someone just like you. The vision is beautiful and the ideas are plentiful, and if there is no execution or implementation, the vision never comes to life, it lives in the “dream” phase.
#2- You actually do NOT know everything there is to know about them by reading their DISC or behavior assessment.
Personality assessments have made a huge debut in recent years as preliminary supplements to applications, with nearly 68% of jobs requiring them for submission for review. These assessments provide an outstanding baseline for conversations, clarifying questions, and learning more about your applicant (and quite frankly- yourself!), and they do not tell you everything you need to know about a person. Hypothetically, a candidate could be a low match in assertiveness yet a high match in protective instincts, and employers may interpret that as a lack of being able to make decisions on behalf of the business and its best interest, and I would ask, does that protective instinct show up as assertiveness when they are acting on behalf of the business and the team they are building with you? I would like to know more. Reducing someone down to a description solely defined by their personality assessment gives you a sea of space to miss great talent.
#3- You actually may NOT want someone who has had their own business before.
This can be easy thought to lean into, after all, someone who has run their own business knows the day-to-day, and what needs to get done to be profitable, right? Sure. Does that necessarily always make them a good fit to partner with you in your business? Nope. When seeking out this person, you need to be really clear and dive into their entrepreneurial spirit and goals. Do they want to ultimately have their own business again? Are they looking for a Segway? Do they want to build something alongside someone and enforce the structure and strength of being a backbone? There are so many different facets to diving into this to gain clarity without assuming that previous business owners are an easy “plug and play” to make your business more successful.
#4-You actually may want someone who IS growth-minded. They may NOT eventually leave you for a new opportunity.
Being growth-minded and driven does not translate the same for everyone, the first step here is understanding what their vision of growth looks like. Where do they want to be? Why do they want to be there? Does this align with your goals? Together, can you create a world big enough for these things to happen? Just because someone wants growth does not mean they will “outgrow” you, it means they are committed to creating a big world for you, themselves, and the future. Stay intentional about that, they will too, and opportunities (in your world) will continue to be endless.
Finding the right person is the key here, it may not always feel quick, and frankly, it shouldn’t. Partnering with someone in business is huge, especially at this magnitude. Honor yourself, your values, your time, and your future in being confident in finding the person you need.
“In many ways, effective communication begins with mutual respect, communication that inspires, encourages others to do their best.” -Zig Ziglar
Communication is defined as giving, receiving or exchanging ideas, information or messages to someone else. Team Communication is especially important during the training period for new Team Members to allow them the opportunity to ask questions (Clarify and Verify), express their ideas and thoughts, and to create accountability around Team expectations. Here are a few ways to communicate effectively.
Team meetings are essential collaborative sessions for businesses. They serve many purposes: making decisions, brainstorming, sharing critical news, or even teaching. They build camaraderie, create connections, and identify direction for your team. Unfortunately, sometimes, we lose track of their purpose. One way to ensure a successful Team Meeting is to create a “Meeting Agenda”. Team Members can also take turns conducting the Team Meetings weekly to allow everyone the opportunity to lead.
Some Meeting Agenda suggestions could be: Wins/ Accomplishments, Progress on Team Goals/ Numbers, Upcoming Events and Announcements, and Training/ Value.
Daily Huddles/ Stand Ups are meant to be short and impactful, so depending on the size of your team these meetings should be between 10-30 minutes max to connect with the team first thing in the morning and ensure that everyone is on the same page.
Some Daily Stand Up topics to cover could be: Big Rocks (Priorities) for the Day, Team Member Shout-Outs, Listing/ Closing Updates, questions on outstanding projects, or Goals
One-on-one meetings are a dedicated time for the Team Member and their Leader to connect on work, career development and growth. One on one meetings should be held every week for a minimum of 30 minutes. This is the perfect time to discuss the Team Members 4-1-1 or 1-3-5 goals.
Pro-tip: Each week there should be time blocks on your calendar Team Meetings, for Daily Huddles/ Stand Ups, and One on One meetings.
“If it is not on your calendar, it doesn’t exist.” -BOLD LAW
For new Team Members or Trainees, there is also the Daily Priority Report. The Daily Priority Report allows the Team Member or Trainee a chance to be more detailed in their daily communication with their Agent/ Leader. The Daily Priority Report should reflect what your true priorities are for the day. This is not a To Do List, but a priority list. What MUST get done today. At the end of the day, you will evaluate the list and mark through what you did get completed and notate what needs to be moved to the next day if necessary.
If your Team does not already have Weekly Team Meetings, Daily Huddles/ Stand Ups, or One on One Weekly meetings, schedule time with your Agent/ Leader to discuss adding them to the calendar.
Learn more about our Training Program at https://yourrealtyleverage.com/training/
I like to work. Working brings me joy. I like being productive and making a difference through the work I do. Over the years, I have found that I’m more productive when I’m busy. I get energy from putting in the hard work and seeing results. It means I’m contributing! Every now and then, I am tasked with something that I don’t know how to do or, more likely, that I don’t enjoy doing. And I have to make a choice on how to handle it. For years, my default has been to set aside the task and move on to something else. By doing this week after week, day after day, I inevitably reach a critical point at which the task is staring me in my face and there is no way to avoid it. This situation puts me in a state of frustration and panic. I get anxious. I may even feel a little uneasy due to the uncertainty around completing the task by a given deadline. I become frustrated with myself for procrastinating… AGAIN. And I vow to NEVER PROCRASTINATE AGAIN. I make a promise to myself that I will avoid the dark shadow of procrastination when presented with the next important, but unfamiliar task. And yet the vicious cycle continues.
Am I a failure? No. Am I a horrible person? No. Do I need to make better choices about prioritizing my time? Absolutely. I NEED TO EAT THE FROG.
“Eat the frog?,” you may ask. Ewww. Yuck. And what does that have to do with procrastinating anyway?
In 2017, Brian Tracy, a U.S.-based productivity coach, wrote and published a book called Eat That Frog!: 21 Great Ways to Stop Procrastinating and Get More Done in Less Time. If you distill the book down into one very basic idea, it’s that you need to focus on completing the most important, challenging, uncomfortable task first and foremost, and then move on to other tasks. And you have to do this day after day to achieve your highest level of productivity.
This notion of eating the frog did not enter my world until a few years ago when I found myself leading a team of agents and operations staff members. I would mark my calendar with meetings to manage and tasks to complete. I would tackle my routine tasks like inputting the “scheduled, kept, taken, pending, and closed” units for my agents, prepping slide decks for weekly meetings and presentations, planning for and meeting with team members to conduct their 411s, and yet I always found myself with a list of things I needed to accomplish that I kept putting off. As I analyzed the list, I realized that every item remaining on my list was something new to me. I needed to take more time and focus to complete the tasks on my list than I did for other more routine tasks. At the advice of my MAPs Coach, I listened to the book Eat That Frog. And it has been at the top of my mind ever since.
I decided to focus on implementing Tracy’s advice on a Monday in May. Our team had prioritized re-structuring our listing intake system for the past month or so. Our current system was not well-defined. Everytime a listing came in, we handled information-gathering, listing prep, and going live in a different way. We had a checklist, but we sort of kind of followed it. We had forms, but we had no email templates prepared to use when sending the forms out to the seller. We had talked about changing our method, perhaps using an electronic form to collect information instead of handling it all over the phone and writing it down. And as our team grew and we took on more and more listings, it became more challenging and time consuming to manage each listing. I knew that by focusing on updating and streamlining our process our team would function better, our clients would be happier, and we would improve our quality of service. But I had never worked on updating a listing intake system before, so I just left it on my list and continued to avoid it.
Well, it was finally time to eat the frog. It was 9:10am already that Monday, though I had planned to begin at 9:00am. I was uncomfortable. My thoughts wandered. I looked around the room. I grabbed a glass of water. Picked at my fingernails. But I knew that by focusing on updating our listing system, we would be a better, stronger, more successful team. And I had read Brian Tracy’s book and was committed to eating the frog. So I sat at my desk and focused. I began to type. I searched on Google and pulled up websites for different real estate teams, and I learned about their processes. I gathered information on different electronic forms and methods of collecting information. I created a spreadsheet to document our system and listed some new ideas. As the morning went on, I realized I was making progress. By noon, I actually had a draft of a new listing intake process workflow to present to my team. I was able to improve our system by streamlining our intake process. I had followed Brian Tracy’s advice and I was able to accomplish my goal!
This was an important lesson to me. There had been so many hours and even days when I simply chose to avoid the task because it was unfamiliar to me. Yet when I took the time to prioritize this task and DO IT, it took me just a few hours to accomplish my goal. And it felt good!
Now, every time I have a task in front of me that is unfamiliar or that I do not enjoy doing, I think about frogs. Does this mean that I have completely stopped procrastinating and that I don’t put things off? NO WAY! But when I realize what I am doing, I think about how much time, energy, frustration, and anxiety I save by identifying the most challenging tasks first and tackling them head on. And I get to it and make it happen.
We know real estate agents do a lot more than show homes, submit offers, and procure the keys to a client’s new home. There’s no doubt there are a ton of transactions throughout the process of buying and selling homes. The paperwork can soak up every minute of a realtor’s day leaving you no time to provide face-to-face customer service to clients.
A transaction coordinator steps in and takes over processing all of the paperwork a real estate agent is required to do for each client. When you need an expert in contracts, to ensure contractual compliance, or to track the important deadlines and contingencies, you need a transaction coordinator.
What Goes Into a Real Estate Transaction?
When people buy and sell homes, there are hours upon hours spent on phone calls, showing homes, hosting open houses, and tons of paperwork. Negotiations have to be made, offers have to be presented, and hours need to be spent speaking to clients to make sure you’re meeting all of their needs.
It isn’t uncommon for real estate agents to spend long hours at the office, or driving between meetings and open houses, seven days a week. Let’s face it, real estate is all about customer service and people aren’t easy to please these days. The last thing they want to hear is that you, their realtor, are unavailable because you’re doing paperwork, or learning the broker compliance system and not focused on their house hunt.
In order to keep clients as happy as possible, you’ll need to be available to your clients, and the best way to make this happen is an extremely organized, professional, and detail-oriented transaction coordinator.
How a Transaction Coordinator (also known as a Closing Coordinator) Assists Real Estate Agents
When a realtor is starting out, doing all of the transactions is important to learn all of the processes and how to handle issues if they arise. Plus, it saves on your budgets if you don’t have tons of clients.
However, keeping every transaction for every client organized and under control becomes a full-time job. This full-time coordinating makes it impossible for an agent to grow a business. Real estate agents need to provide lots of attention to clients, and when you’re buried in paperwork, there’s not enough time to show the required attention to your clients.
Instead of dealing with things like:
- Seller’s transactions (initial contracts all the way through to final agreements)
- Keeping track of the contractual contingencies and deadlines
- Maintaining communications between clients, agents, loan officers, underwriters, title officers, and escrow
A transaction coordinator, sometimes referred to as a closing coordinator, handles all of the above and much more for you.
Be Happy TC Provides a Seamless Process
If you’re an agency that has realtors:
- expressing how burnt out they are
- they have no time to devote to their clients
- are making mistakes on paperwork
- missing appointments
It’s time to call Be Happy TC. We’ve been providing excellent transaction coordination services to California real estate professionals. We’re the gateway to successful real estate transactions, the answer to spending more time with clients, and the best way to dedicate even more time to growing your real estate business!
A lot of us in the Real Estate Industry know the benefits to hiring a great coach, It’s likely that if you are an Agent reading this right now you have a coach. Over the last few years we have seen a massive increase in Operations Coaching within Canada and the US. Its evolved from Group Coaching programs for a large group of Admins, into Elite 1-1 Coaching with a strong focus on Growth for your Ops person/team.
As a Director of Operations for one of the top Real Estate Teams in Canada, I contribute a lot of my success to my Coach. My Team Leader saw the importance of investing in my growth, knowing that it would come full circle back into our team and didn’t hesitate to invest in Coaching to help me grow in my role. In fact he also called it “leverage” for our business. He was able to continue to focus on his top 20% while he knew I had assistance in Operational things that were not necessarily his strengths
I feel so passionate about Operations Coaching and wanted to share 4 great tips why hiring an operations Coach will propel your business and create a world of culture and partnership with You and your Administrator.
#1 – They help you see your blind spots
When I first started coaching, I was really unaware of what I would truly need from a coach. I didn’t know how I would utilize our time together. My Coach spent our first few calls together understanding the business, the vision, and how I wanted to grow in my role. Our team is very fast paced and and often we would get “into the weeds” My Coach was able to bring clarity when I felt lost. I have learned how to maneuver “the weeds” without interrupting my team leader through Coaching.
#2 – They’ve been in the trenches
One of the benefits to finding the right coach is knowing if they have been in the role themselves. Having full knowledge of the role and how effective systems work. One of the reasons Your Realty Leverage Coaches are one of the most sought after Coaches is because they are in the trenches themselves. They all currently run teams, Transaction Companies and live and breath the systems and models of the Real Estate Industry. I know when I was choosing my coach, it was important to me that they knew about the industry I was in and we speak the same language. What better leverage for your Admin than someone who is hands on in the Industry. Or has been there at one point
#3 – Leverage
If you are an Agent reading this, and you wonder if you should invest in a Coach for your Admin – the answer is YES! If you have read this far, you already see the importance of it. Just like when you are training your Admin in their first 30 days, It probably felt overwhelming, and you may or may not have struggled with managing it all. Seek Leverage! Let someone step in and hold your admin accountable to growth plans, Following through on the ultimate vision. Empowering your Admin to grow is one of the most amazing things you can do for us!
#4 – Supporting the Systems and evaluating the business
Having an outside view on systems and models within the business is underestimated, Having an unbiased third party insight to your business is a massive value add within Coaching. One of the things I love about Your Leverage Coaching, is the coaches ability to ask questions around the business, and be able to hold clients accountable to system audits. Which by doing so increases productivity and the Foundation of your systems. The Coaches with Your Realty Leverage are experienced in Systems, and Operations. Having that wisdom handed down to your business and your Admin is an incredible asset to the growth of your business
Coaching is a commitment and when partnered with the right Coach – Your success, your growth have no limit.
When you hire an Admin you make a massive commitment to team growth and more importantly the growth to your hire. This is something to not take lightly. Having a Coach to support your Admin in their goals and the overall goal for the team Allows you the opportunity to continue forward with your foot on the gas and more importantly know you are empowering your team (Admin) to help grow the business as well.
Nothing is more important than when an Agent and Admin are on the same path within the business.
Want to learn more about which one of our coaches at Your Realty Leverage would be a perfect fit for you? Email me at Valerie@yrltalent.com
The world is ever changing and many of us find that our version of, “Going to Work” has changed a bit from how things were years ago. Some of us no longer have to take that car ride or train ride stressing over traffic or delays while heading to the office. For many of us, our workplace is now wherever our computer is. There are many great aspects of having the option to work remotely, however a big concern of not only employers but employees is perfecting the ability to stay connected in a remote workplace. Employers want to be sure that their team is staying committed and working together. They want to be sure that employees can brainstorm on projects and streamline communication so everyone can stay updated and grow as a team. Employees want to know that they can receive a response to a question within a reasonable amount of time or receive guidance when necessary. They want to know they aren’t alone in their workplace even though physically we may be far apart. It may not always be easy to find a balance- the great news is, it is possible!
Most people have that aunt, uncle or childhood friend that lives or moved to another state or country. Don’t we find ways to stay connected to them? We call, text, reach out via social media, or hop on a video call. So why do some people find it so difficult to stay connected in a virtual workplace? Nowadays people talk more in the virtual world than having a face to face conversation. Social Media allows ways to stay connected to the masses. Just because we don’t see everyone in person doesn’t mean it is impossible to get to know one another and form lasting relationships. So how do we stay connected and engaged? What is the right answer? Simply, there is no one answer. There is no one size fits all solution. We need to remind ourselves that what is a good form of communication for one person may not be the best fit for another. We need to try different methods until you find what works best.
There are multiple opportunities and tools we can use to stay connected. You can use an app for your communication platform such as Slack, Staff base or Google Chat. You can manage tasks with programs like Monday.com, Smartsheet, or Asana. There are an abundance of tools at your fingertips to use to keep in communication throughout your day. Poor communication in a workplace is not due to the lack of programs available to utilize. In order for people to stay connected each employee must accept that a part of working remote, especially when on a team, is to commit yourself to staying connected and add in the extra effort to do so.
You can add fun ways to stay connected such as celebrating team birthdays. If your team does not already document when all birthdays are, take it upon yourself to make note in your calendar the next time it is someone’s special day. Then you can reach out, send a funny card or simply send a quick text to let them know you care. In the workplace a common gathering area is usually wherever the coffee is located. In the virtual world we may not be able to share a pot of coffee however you can set up a coffee break with a co-worker and pick up the phone and chat for your break. Try and keep the conversation away from workplace topics and stay focused on giving yourself the break you deserve.
Forming relationships is an integral part to ensure we are improving communication.
Teams can set up weekly or daily calls and have specific topics to discuss. By alternating topics (not all business related) you can get to know one another, on not only a work level, but get to know more about your coworkers’ personalities and interests. Teams can set up gatherings which can be done virtually or in person. If sticking to the virtual world there are many different classes that you can provide as options for employees to join. These options can be suggested during work hours but also as after work functions. You can suggest classes to improve different skills related to the job or find fun classes too, such as learning a new hobby. Virtual events could include painting parties, a virtual game show or trivia nights. Offering options such as these allow for great team building opportunities.
Each person in a company holds individual importance to the functionality of a business as a whole. If one part is missing or lacking the whole group does not succeed. You can avoid this by making sure your teams communication skills are constantly improving and evolving. There are so many different ways we can stay connected but if you do not stick to the 3 C’s no number of apps, classes or events will help. The 3 C’s are: Create. Consistent. Communication.
We need to work on each of these items as a whole and Create Consistent Communication while also working at these three items individually.
Create: We all look to create the next best thing in the workplace. Whether that is creating a goal, creating a new product, creating a better way to systemize or a way to make a company succeed or improve. It is important to push ourselves and always be raising the standard of what success is to us. This can only be done by creating an environment for success. By opening the doors for communication to flow freely.
Consistent: It is important to stick to what you say you will do. Make sure you reply within a timely manner when someone reaches out. Setting clear and concise structure on expectations in regards to communication responses is important to maintaining consistency. Not only is it important to stay consistent with your timeliness and dependability you must stay consistent with your quality of work. Working in a remote world it is always great to reach out and have someone give their feedback. This is an excellent way to get a chance to engage with your team one on one and strengthen communication.
Communication: Communicating does not have to be done only in a verbal manner. You can reach out to coworkers by emailing, texting or by setting up a video call. Find what suits you best, and also utilize all of the options available to us in this modern world. There is no reason that reaching out and communicating should be difficult.
Each employee holds their own unique importance but together it means so much more and we can achieve so much more. This is the same as these three simple words. It is a choice to stay connected in the outside world as it is in the virtual world. You can be an introvert in either situation but it is the sole responsibility of every remote employee or employer to dedicate yourself to finding a way that works best for you to let your personality shine and create memorable conversation.
It is your job to Create.
It is your job to be Consistent.
It is your job to Communicate.
Congratulations on taking the first step towards leveraging your time with your new hire! The first 90 days of training can be the most critical in building the foundation for success.
Here are some tips and tricks to make sure you get the most out of your first 90 days
of training with your new hire:
Prepare your trainee for success:
Prior to your new hire’s first day on the job, make sure you have their workspace set up. They should have access to a computer, business email address, access to your Cloud Storage system with editing privileges, and log in information for the MLS, CRM and any other required systems. Taking the time to prepare prior to your new hire starting allows them to hop into your systems and start learning the business on Day 1.
Know Your Team’s Missions, Visions, Values, Beliefs and Perspectives:
Where does your team want to be in the future? What are your team values, beliefs and perspective What is your team “Big Why?” When building your team, the vision of where your team wants to be in the future and the growth path should be step 1. Team culture is important for recruiting and retention. People desire to know WHY they’re doing what they do. If you don’t have these in place, take time to build it with your new hire.
Know their role:
Before your new hire takes the seat next to you on your team, it isimportant that you outline what their 20% is. During onboarding, you should go over what 20% of your new hires’ tasks will produce 80% of their results. A customized 30-60-90 day goal plan, tailored to your business and your hires 20% should be created together with your new hire. These 30-60-90 day goals outline how your new hire leverage your time allowing you to spend more time on your 20%.
Create a learning environment:
To create the best learning environment on “In the Business” training, it is important to set up time for your new hire to shadow you or the team in your business. Whether it be prepping for a listing appointment or how you organize your inbox, the more they can grasp the way your business runs, the quicker they can jump in and leverage your time!
Set up team meetings:
In addition to scheduling shadowing opportunities, you and your new hire should have weekly one on-one meetings. It is important that these meetings do not get skipped! These meetings should be 30 to 60 minutes to check in on their progress toward goals. If you have more than one team member, make sure you are scheduling a weekly team meeting to check on team progress towards goals, building rapport, and accountability.
A daily morning check-in ,for 10-15 minutes, to outline priorities for the day, and get updates on wins or challenges from the previous day should occur also. A combination of shadowing time and weekly meetings allows for an open line of communication between you, your team, and your new hire to ask questions and make sure everyone is reaching toward the same goals.
On your new hire’s first day, we encourage an Expectations Conversation. This conversation should walk you and your new hire through talking about honesty, how someone can win or lose with you, sensitive issues, expectations, standards, and accountability. Having this conversation on your new hire’s first or second day sets a standard for how you two can communicate and work together in a new partnership.
Create a System for Priorities & Urgency:
When you are sending action items or goals to your new hire, it is a great idea to set a timeline for when it needs to be completed. This allows them to prioritize important tasks over the other “stuff” on their plate and learn how you prioritize tasks.
This is a snapshot of tips and tricks that allows your new hire to feel supported and lay a foundation for success. Should you have any questions or want to dive deeper into Training Best Practices- feel free to reach out to email@example.com, we would love to help!
Blogger: Allison Schoch, Trainer, Your Realty Leverage
We talk about it constantly. Right? In the world we currently live in, it’s not uncommon for people to ask you how your mindset is, how you’re feeling, “where your head’s at”. Diving into how mindset, performance, relationships, and growth tie together can get pretty uncomfortable, yet enlightening. Let’s talk about it.
Your mindset is determined by your surroundings. WRONG.
Determined? No. Influenced? Yes. You get to make a conscious decision, every second of every day, how you choose to approach, execute, deliver, and maintain your day and how you show up. If you allow yourself to accept the idea that you are “just that way” and “that’s just the way it is” then that’s what you’ll be and what it will be, the funny thing about your brain is that it believes you, and it will manifest whatever you tell it that you believe to be true. Be careful what you tell it, it takes it’s job very seriously.
Self care is only necessary when you’re tired or overwhelmed. WRONG.
Do you wait until you are completely out of gas and broken down on the side of the road to add gas to your car’s tank? Do you wait until every dish or piece of clothing in your home is dirty before you start washing? Of course not, you know the process and the cycle, and you know to be proactive, you need to wash the dishes and the clothes to ensure you never run out. Here’s a big one, do you let your phone completely die before you plug it up? Ouch, right? I highly doubt that’s the case. Why should your self-care or recharge for yourself be any different? You are proactive in the pursuit of making sure the things in your life have what they need to continue to run and move forward, yet you ignore the signs that you also need that.
Some days I don’t choose my mindset or how I show up/feel, I am just existing and going through the motions. WRONG.
Whether you consciously say, I’m going to have a great day or today sucks, you are still making a choice. Making an effort puts you in control of your day and your mood. Ignoring it or choosing not to acknowledge it, does not mean it does not exist or is not relative, it just means you are choosing to take a reactive approach that will likely create frustration and chaos and leave you in a constant state of overwhelm and burn out.
Your mood and your mindset are the same thing. WRONG.
Moods are the emotions we feel. A mindset is the thoughts and ideas that go along with that mood. In order to understand how these two interact, you need to pause and think about what you’re feeling and why. Put those feelings into words, like, “Goodness, I’m really upset right now” or “I’m feeling really lonely.” After you have identified the WHY, you must then accept what you feel. Whatever you feel is OKAY- let yourself feel the feelings- it is normal to be annoyed when it rains every day of your vacation. It’s part of being HUMAN. What you do next is the pivotal piece. Choose how you move past it. What comes next for you to shift? How are you going to change the narrative around the rain? Go dance outside? Read your favorite book? This is where you get to decide. Choosewisely.
Growth always comes with pain. Wrong.
Growth will come with discomfort, you are venturing outside of your comfort zone. Growth can happen in your comfort zone and outside of your comfort zone. Reflection and self awareness often comes within the bounds of your comfortzone. The key factor is being willing and receptive to the growth, you have to embrace it and absorb it, uncomfortable or not, discomfort is temporary, growth is permanent.
Everyone who loves you will always support your growth. WRONG.
Ouch, right? That one stings. Let’s be clear here- people who love you, likely support you and your success, and that does not always mean that they support your growth. The funny thing about growth is that often we find that people, relationships, habits, and hobbies that we may have had our whole lives no longer serve us or bring us joy, and when you make big transformational changes like that, it makes people around you uncomfortable. The case here is usually that people see this as a “sudden” change, they don’t see the internal process you have gone through to come to your decisions and the revelations you have made to get here, and they become defensive because they feel like it’s personal. The only thing you can do here is what is best for you and who you are becoming. This piece of growth and success is likely the hardest, be steadfast, it will be worth it. Learn to be okay with the fact that not everyone will be a “life long” part of your story.
What steps can you take TODAY to shift your mindset?
The way you talk to and about yourself, let’s start there.
Replace/eliminate words that have negative connotations.
- Want vs. Choose (Ex: I want to be better vs. I choose to be better)
- Try vs. Will (Ex: I try to improve vs. I will improve)
- Eliminate just (implies lack of importance) (Ex: I just need to. I just want to. I just have
- Give some day, soon, one day, later a timeline for self accountability purposes. Nail down a timeline- don’t leave it out in space.
Our mindset influences every conversation, interaction, relationship, and step we take every day. It is such an important piece of achieving your goals to be who, where, and what you want to be. It is the key to the car that will get you to that place, make sure you are utilizing the power in that key- it is far more strenuous and exhausting to push a car than to just put the key in and drive.